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Emotional Intelligence

I used to make the mistake of thinking that people understood exactly what I was saying, simply because I’m a very communicator. I use concise, clear language. I don’t make assumptions but rather spell things out. And I try to check for understanding. Nonetheless, I was often frustrated by what I perceived as a lack of comprehension on the part of those with whom I had just spoken. Then it hit me. Just because a person has an acceptable IQ, doesn’t mean that he or she has a high EQ.


Wait, what? What’s an EQ?

EQ stands for “Emotional Intelligence.” Simply defined, Emotional Intelligence is “a person’s awareness of his/her own emotions and ability to use that awareness in life situations.” In other words, it comes down to having not just an INTRA-personal side (“I think I know what I heard”) but also having an INTER-personal side (“Did I truly grasp what he/she meant when he/she said what she said?”). It’s as simple as being able to intuit the difference between your boss saying he or she is disappointed in your results and your mom or dad saying the same thing. An emotionally intelligent person will respond differently depending on who is saying something and what they’re saying; disappointing the boss could mean getting fired, so you’d better get your act together, whereas disappointing mom or dad usually entails saying you’re sorry, washing a few extra dishes and helping clear the table.


Emotional Intelligence

also means being able to regulate your feelings. Demonstrating anxiety when there is little or on concern that disaster may strike is unnecessary and counterproductive. The emotionally intelligent person recognizes that getting a splinter in your finger does not require overblown calls to be taken to the ER; a pair of tweezers and some Betadine will do just fine.


In Business it’s a huge plus having emotionally intelligent people with whom to work. Tempers rarely flare, cooperation is typically high, and FLOW is readily achieved. Whether you’re trying to improve the mood at the dinner table or want a presentation to an ad agency to go well, being in touch with both your own and other’s emotional states can be a huge advantage. In fact, in today’s working world, it’s indispensable.


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